Feline Fellowship Finance

The world is in economic crisis, this much we know but the Feline Fellowship (whom I suspect of engineering most of the world's problems) will never feel the fiscal pinch of austerity. Why? You may ask, and so you should. There are a number of reasons:

The Feline Fellowship has a hoard of treasure and Gold that would make a Swiss bank vault weep. We must remember that the FF has been around for thousands of years and made use of that time very wisely. Whilst early European traders were using salt as currency, these Kitties were already seeking out precious metal and stones, refining them and storing them away. The Fellowship treasures are kept n secret underground vaults all over the world and only the most senior Financial Felines have the codes to get in.

Fort Knox borrowed secrets from the Feline Fellowship

The Feline Fellowship became so adept at financial management that when human banking began to emerge they called upon Kitties for help in procedural structures. Several banking institutions still have cats as secret board members, ones that have rejected or tried to get rid of their Kitties have suffered severe loses and acquired so called Toxic Debt. Those banks that have been bailed out by Governments have actually been bailed out by the Feline Fellowship, a further step in regaining and keeping control of the worlds infrastructure.

Swiss Bankers await the arrival of a Financial Feline - they were later fired and never heard of again.

Another lucrative way that the FF acquires finance is food. Have you ever wondered why the cat that lives with you is so fussy about their food? Cats as consumers a fiercely loyal to their favourite brands. Trying to get them to change is next to impossible. The reason for this is that not only is each flavour developed for a specific breed (clan) of cat, but also the financial implications are a major factor. 

Shelves upon shelves of money for the Feline Fellowship

Manufacturers of Cat food (and all other pet food) are obliged by an ancient law to give a percentage (undisclosed) of their profits to the Feline Fellowship. They disguise these payments as 'Charitable Donations' which in certain countries allows them tax breaks. It works for the company because it works for the FF. These donations are worth Billions of currency each year, all tax free.

There is a link between brand and cat but at the moment the puzzle is too difficult to figure out. However what is for sure is that the FF have employed highly qualified scientific chefs to formulate flavours and recipes. 

A FF Chef with (l-r) Chicken, Salmon and Beef solutions. 

There is a school of thought that certain brands and flavours are laced with a toxin that allows complete control of all FF members. Those members that do not follow as they should or develop rebel tendencies are "dealt with". The most common cover up is to blame a kitties demise on Kidney failure. Vets have links to the Fellowship, but I have yet to find one who is willing to talk.

I should apologise for my silence over the past month or so. Necessity caused me to seek refuge, however I am very close to gaining an insight into the FF from a genuine high ranking member. For now though; be safe, be vigilant and watch your ankles!