Feline Fellowship Finance

The world is in economic crisis, this much we know but the Feline Fellowship (whom I suspect of engineering most of the world's problems) will never feel the fiscal pinch of austerity. Why? You may ask, and so you should. There are a number of reasons:

The Feline Fellowship has a hoard of treasure and Gold that would make a Swiss bank vault weep. We must remember that the FF has been around for thousands of years and made use of that time very wisely. Whilst early European traders were using salt as currency, these Kitties were already seeking out precious metal and stones, refining them and storing them away. The Fellowship treasures are kept n secret underground vaults all over the world and only the most senior Financial Felines have the codes to get in.

Fort Knox borrowed secrets from the Feline Fellowship

The Feline Fellowship became so adept at financial management that when human banking began to emerge they called upon Kitties for help in procedural structures. Several banking institutions still have cats as secret board members, ones that have rejected or tried to get rid of their Kitties have suffered severe loses and acquired so called Toxic Debt. Those banks that have been bailed out by Governments have actually been bailed out by the Feline Fellowship, a further step in regaining and keeping control of the worlds infrastructure.

Swiss Bankers await the arrival of a Financial Feline - they were later fired and never heard of again.

Another lucrative way that the FF acquires finance is food. Have you ever wondered why the cat that lives with you is so fussy about their food? Cats as consumers a fiercely loyal to their favourite brands. Trying to get them to change is next to impossible. The reason for this is that not only is each flavour developed for a specific breed (clan) of cat, but also the financial implications are a major factor. 

Shelves upon shelves of money for the Feline Fellowship

Manufacturers of Cat food (and all other pet food) are obliged by an ancient law to give a percentage (undisclosed) of their profits to the Feline Fellowship. They disguise these payments as 'Charitable Donations' which in certain countries allows them tax breaks. It works for the company because it works for the FF. These donations are worth Billions of currency each year, all tax free.

There is a link between brand and cat but at the moment the puzzle is too difficult to figure out. However what is for sure is that the FF have employed highly qualified scientific chefs to formulate flavours and recipes. 

A FF Chef with (l-r) Chicken, Salmon and Beef solutions. 

There is a school of thought that certain brands and flavours are laced with a toxin that allows complete control of all FF members. Those members that do not follow as they should or develop rebel tendencies are "dealt with". The most common cover up is to blame a kitties demise on Kidney failure. Vets have links to the Fellowship, but I have yet to find one who is willing to talk.

I should apologise for my silence over the past month or so. Necessity caused me to seek refuge, however I am very close to gaining an insight into the FF from a genuine high ranking member. For now though; be safe, be vigilant and watch your ankles!

198furrrrr

The Feline Fellowship has many different ways of keeping a Cats Eye on their human interests. There are some very covert and clever ways of these Tabbies keeping Tabs on us but one has proved the most effective over the years and is virtually impossible to eliminate.

Cat hair.

Cat Hair has been used for years by Tabbies to keep Tabs on us all.

Micro-transmitters, transponders, cameras and listening devices were all developed by the Feline Fellowship way before they even figured on our intelligence radar. The Research and Development Division of the FF has worked tirelessly to make sure that not only all operatives but all Kitties are equipped with state of the art surveillance equipment. Cat hair has also been genetically altered to make it more adhesive, it not only sticks to human clothing, it can be found everywhere. Easy to deploy, FF operatives are adept at deploying the right amount of hair for the correct level of surveillance.

Feline Fellowship operatives are highly trained in the deployment of Cat Hair Surveillance

Cat Hair Surveillance tells the Feline Fellowship everything they need to know about your location, activities, etc. They can access bank accounts, gather information for blackmail and even influence political elections through CHS units.

This victim was blackmailed and had his bank account cleaned out. He is now missing.

The resistance has obviously tried to thwart the use of Cat Hair Surveillance by developing and deploying counter-measures. Although reasonably effective when used correctly these counter-measures are still rendered useless by the shear volume and consistency of CHS.

Roller factories have been targeted by the Feline Fellowship Sabotage Division

Although somewhat of an annoyance, the Feline Fellowship does not see Rollers, Sticky Brushes...as a threat to their surveillance operations. However to let the human developers of these counter-measures know that they are aware of their intentions, the Feline Fellowship has made examples of certain companies and product developers.

The developer of this product has his thumbnails removed and was poisoned by a covert 'Spray' operation.

Development of new counter-measures is under way, including a new toxin which has been introduced into certain water, food and catnip supplies. Massive progress was thought to have been made with a few breeds of cat, now known has hairless breeds. However, my sources have confirmed that although certain hairless breeds are truly bald, the FF has developed a Stealth Coat which deploys invisible Hair Surveillance Units under the guise of baldness. 

The Stealth Coat deploys even more covert Hair Surveillance Units.

A detection measure is still a few years off so it must be assumed that all baldy cats are equipped with this new coat. So we must wait. For now, be safe, be vigilant and watch your ankles.

One Sign, A Number of Meanings.

Primarily that this is a CCZ (Cat Controlled Zone).

Beware - CCZ

Let's get this straight right from the start - Cats are NOT afraid of Dogs. They look down on them in every way. However the human/dog alliance is something that needs to be addressed and the Feline Fellowship have been working on a propaganda campaign for hundreds of years.

You never read articles about Cats mauling people in the street because they don't want you to. They control the media. Everything you now about Dogs or think you know has come from the Feline Fellowship.

A Work of Psychotic Genius

The Feline Fellowship bankrolled the 1957 movie of 'Old Yeller' as a warning to Dogs getting too comfortable at being "mans best friend" and also to humans to beware of their "best friends" turning on them. It remains as one of the finest pieces of psychological propaganda ever made.

Banned by the Feline Fellowship

The FF were so incensed and angered by the 1990 film 'Dances with Wolves' that not only was Kevin Costner blacklisted by them, they set about ruining his career. He remained sceptical of their threats until the 1997 movie, 'The Postman' ended up being nothing short of a swan song. Coming so soon after 'Waterworld' Costner eventually conceded that he had made a mistake with 'Dances with Wolves' and is now under house arrest and reconditioning from the FF's Entertainment Division.

Blacklisted

I will flag up more of these abuses of media as and when I can. There are examples from art and literature stretching back way before Kevin Costner but time now is limited, so for now be safe, be vigilant and watch your ankles.