Feline Fellowship Finance

The world is in economic crisis, this much we know but the Feline Fellowship (whom I suspect of engineering most of the world's problems) will never feel the fiscal pinch of austerity. Why? You may ask, and so you should. There are a number of reasons:

The Feline Fellowship has a hoard of treasure and Gold that would make a Swiss bank vault weep. We must remember that the FF has been around for thousands of years and made use of that time very wisely. Whilst early European traders were using salt as currency, these Kitties were already seeking out precious metal and stones, refining them and storing them away. The Fellowship treasures are kept n secret underground vaults all over the world and only the most senior Financial Felines have the codes to get in.

Fort Knox borrowed secrets from the Feline Fellowship

The Feline Fellowship became so adept at financial management that when human banking began to emerge they called upon Kitties for help in procedural structures. Several banking institutions still have cats as secret board members, ones that have rejected or tried to get rid of their Kitties have suffered severe loses and acquired so called Toxic Debt. Those banks that have been bailed out by Governments have actually been bailed out by the Feline Fellowship, a further step in regaining and keeping control of the worlds infrastructure.

Swiss Bankers await the arrival of a Financial Feline - they were later fired and never heard of again.

Another lucrative way that the FF acquires finance is food. Have you ever wondered why the cat that lives with you is so fussy about their food? Cats as consumers a fiercely loyal to their favourite brands. Trying to get them to change is next to impossible. The reason for this is that not only is each flavour developed for a specific breed (clan) of cat, but also the financial implications are a major factor. 

Shelves upon shelves of money for the Feline Fellowship

Manufacturers of Cat food (and all other pet food) are obliged by an ancient law to give a percentage (undisclosed) of their profits to the Feline Fellowship. They disguise these payments as 'Charitable Donations' which in certain countries allows them tax breaks. It works for the company because it works for the FF. These donations are worth Billions of currency each year, all tax free.

There is a link between brand and cat but at the moment the puzzle is too difficult to figure out. However what is for sure is that the FF have employed highly qualified scientific chefs to formulate flavours and recipes. 

A FF Chef with (l-r) Chicken, Salmon and Beef solutions. 

There is a school of thought that certain brands and flavours are laced with a toxin that allows complete control of all FF members. Those members that do not follow as they should or develop rebel tendencies are "dealt with". The most common cover up is to blame a kitties demise on Kidney failure. Vets have links to the Fellowship, but I have yet to find one who is willing to talk.

I should apologise for my silence over the past month or so. Necessity caused me to seek refuge, however I am very close to gaining an insight into the FF from a genuine high ranking member. For now though; be safe, be vigilant and watch your ankles!

198furrrrr

The Feline Fellowship has many different ways of keeping a Cats Eye on their human interests. There are some very covert and clever ways of these Tabbies keeping Tabs on us but one has proved the most effective over the years and is virtually impossible to eliminate.

Cat hair.

Cat Hair has been used for years by Tabbies to keep Tabs on us all.

Micro-transmitters, transponders, cameras and listening devices were all developed by the Feline Fellowship way before they even figured on our intelligence radar. The Research and Development Division of the FF has worked tirelessly to make sure that not only all operatives but all Kitties are equipped with state of the art surveillance equipment. Cat hair has also been genetically altered to make it more adhesive, it not only sticks to human clothing, it can be found everywhere. Easy to deploy, FF operatives are adept at deploying the right amount of hair for the correct level of surveillance.

Feline Fellowship operatives are highly trained in the deployment of Cat Hair Surveillance

Cat Hair Surveillance tells the Feline Fellowship everything they need to know about your location, activities, etc. They can access bank accounts, gather information for blackmail and even influence political elections through CHS units.

This victim was blackmailed and had his bank account cleaned out. He is now missing.

The resistance has obviously tried to thwart the use of Cat Hair Surveillance by developing and deploying counter-measures. Although reasonably effective when used correctly these counter-measures are still rendered useless by the shear volume and consistency of CHS.

Roller factories have been targeted by the Feline Fellowship Sabotage Division

Although somewhat of an annoyance, the Feline Fellowship does not see Rollers, Sticky Brushes...as a threat to their surveillance operations. However to let the human developers of these counter-measures know that they are aware of their intentions, the Feline Fellowship has made examples of certain companies and product developers.

The developer of this product has his thumbnails removed and was poisoned by a covert 'Spray' operation.

Development of new counter-measures is under way, including a new toxin which has been introduced into certain water, food and catnip supplies. Massive progress was thought to have been made with a few breeds of cat, now known has hairless breeds. However, my sources have confirmed that although certain hairless breeds are truly bald, the FF has developed a Stealth Coat which deploys invisible Hair Surveillance Units under the guise of baldness. 

The Stealth Coat deploys even more covert Hair Surveillance Units.

A detection measure is still a few years off so it must be assumed that all baldy cats are equipped with this new coat. So we must wait. For now, be safe, be vigilant and watch your ankles.

Missing vs Training

During my investigations, I came across this article http://www.petside.com/article/missing-cat-found-5-years-later-remarkable-story which on the surface looks like a heartwarming tale of a lost kitty finding it's way home. The truth is something much more subversive.

It seems that everyone knows someone or has gone through the stress and turmoil of a cat going missing. But where do they go? The majority of Kitties return a few days later looking tired and dirty but for the rest, families are left bereft and heartbroken not knowing where their beloved pet has gone.

There are a number of explanations as to why these wayward Cats disappear for a period of time.

1. Training


The Feline Fellowship takes the training of all it's members incredibly seriously. Within the ranks of the organisation there are a number of different levels of operative. Progression with the FF is dependant on further training and refresher training.

Operatives are drilled and trained for days

Operatives selected for training are informed of dates and location by a network of communication mice. It's here we can briefly touch on another falsehood created by the Feline Fellowship PR machine. Cats do not hunt mice. Mice are trained to deliver messages to key members of the FF. The mice are then disposed of. It seems cruel but mice are a proud race and live to serve the FF. The reasons why will be explained at a future date. Let's stick to the subject in hand for now...

Coordinates, dates and details communicated through the Mouse Network - this mouse later imploded.

Upon receiving 'The Call' the operative makes arrangements to attend the training. The Message Mouse is then eliminated - half eaten if the mouse contained text or bites down on a mini cyanid pill if only carrying verbal instructions.

The operative immediately puts their affairs in order, secures their neighbourhood through instructions to the deputy kitties of the district and makes their way to training.

Training always takes place at night. It starts with a pledge of allegiance to the Feline Fellowship. When you hear cats wailing at night - you may think it's a fight or some kind of mating ritual, it's not. You are in a secret training area. Probably metres away from Kitties plotting the eventual overthrow of the human race.

The content of these training sessions remain a secret but they are thorough, intensive and most importantly dangerous.

The most well known and fortified training area is "Cat Island" in Japan. initially deemed a major blow to their secrecy, the Feline Fellowship then released details on the island as a warning to all that something big was coming.

The Cat Island Council

The human inhabitants live under strict rules. If they stay in line, they receive treats, if they don't... Rumours of a resistance have been denied and quashed by the Feline Fellowship. I can confirm that no communiqué has been received from "Cat Island" for a number of years.

Akihiro Hokkaido has not reported in for a number of years.

2. Meeting of the Feline Fellowship

Sometime there important developments regarding the Feline Fellowship and the campaign/operation it is waging that cannot be entrusted to the Mouse Network. The information is so explosive, so important that it must be delivered at a meeting.

Again these meetings are the most secret of secret meetings and are usual held in underground bunkers, disused cardboard boxes or old suitcases. Anywhere that is secret and secure. These places are also used as safe houses and are guarded ferociously.

Old air-raid shelters are ideal meeting places. This man is still missing.

3. Call Up for Special Ops

Those operatives who stand out from rest are called up for Special Operations and exceptional ones are brought into the Feline Fellowship Hierarchy. The latter are usually never seen by their human associates again as the honour is too much of a draw.

So next time, "your" cat goes missing - check his paws, fur and whiskers when an if they return. Strange smells, colourings and even additional whisker implants (for increased surveillance) are all indicators of the above.

Damn. As I was typing my safe house has been surrounded. For now be safe, be vigilant and watch you ankles.

One Sign, A Number of Meanings.

Primarily that this is a CCZ (Cat Controlled Zone).

Beware - CCZ

Let's get this straight right from the start - Cats are NOT afraid of Dogs. They look down on them in every way. However the human/dog alliance is something that needs to be addressed and the Feline Fellowship have been working on a propaganda campaign for hundreds of years.

You never read articles about Cats mauling people in the street because they don't want you to. They control the media. Everything you now about Dogs or think you know has come from the Feline Fellowship.

A Work of Psychotic Genius

The Feline Fellowship bankrolled the 1957 movie of 'Old Yeller' as a warning to Dogs getting too comfortable at being "mans best friend" and also to humans to beware of their "best friends" turning on them. It remains as one of the finest pieces of psychological propaganda ever made.

Banned by the Feline Fellowship

The FF were so incensed and angered by the 1990 film 'Dances with Wolves' that not only was Kevin Costner blacklisted by them, they set about ruining his career. He remained sceptical of their threats until the 1997 movie, 'The Postman' ended up being nothing short of a swan song. Coming so soon after 'Waterworld' Costner eventually conceded that he had made a mistake with 'Dances with Wolves' and is now under house arrest and reconditioning from the FF's Entertainment Division.

Blacklisted

I will flag up more of these abuses of media as and when I can. There are examples from art and literature stretching back way before Kevin Costner but time now is limited, so for now be safe, be vigilant and watch your ankles.

Where it all began

A few years ago, I was sat watching television. Looking out of my window I saw the usual neighbourhood cats miaowing around, taking their evening constitutionals. I thought nothing of it. those were my innocent days. Days when I thought a Kitty was just a Kitty. Those days seem like years ago. A few years ago. Oh, they are a few years ago - hence me saying it at the start. Needless to say these were the days before I knew anything about the Feline Fellowship.

So back to the television. The programme I was watching (not important) ended and the evening news began. There were two separate reports about an earthquake and a flood. As I watched the harrowing scenes on the news reports, something kept catching my eye. Every two or three shots in the report I began to notice cats. There, just miaowing around. Watching. I put these observations down to lack of sleep/tiredness, too much grog and dismissed my fears.

Next morning, I started to notice cats, everywhere. More and more. Watching. The street, the road, peoples houses, under cars, in trees. Something had stirred inside me. I'd woken up. I'd started to notice them. I watched every news bulletin that day about every story and there they were. Watching. But now it wasn't as if they were watching, it was as if they were part of it. Observing. Orchestrating. Checking on progress. My mind started to spin. Was going mad?

Saved or Surveying?

I decided I needed to investigate more. But things were hotting up in my neighbourhood. The local Kitterati kept spraying my door. I'd find dead mice and birds left on my doorstep. These weren't gifts as we are lead to believe these are warnings! I had to get out.

The milkman wore shin pads!

One morning soon after I was cornered by a black cat determined to cross my path. I wasn't going to let him. We were playing a tense game of strategic chess. Him the black king, me the white queen...erm...just go with it... Suddenly I was bundled into a white Fiat Uno (not the one you're thinking!)

Artists impression (real car protected)

I was taken to a secret location where I was met others concerned about Kitty Prominence at a coffee morning. It was there and then I decided to take on the role I knew would one day kill me but was necessary for humanity. I'll reveal more about my induction, training and welcome lunch another time. All you need to know for now is that I was set on a course by tens of people willing to back me financially and I haven't looked back since. Well, actually, I look back quite a bit as I know that the Kitties are following me.

 

We fearless few

The world is now my hiding place as I gather more and more evidence. But what to do with it. The kitties have influence everywhere!

Damn! I must fly! The early warning catnip enable device has been triggered. I have to change location. Next time, I will provide hard evidence of The Plan in full swing, but for now, be safe, be vigilant and watch your ankles.

Cats Have A Plan!

The world is in trouble. Global warming, financial meltdown, riots, corruption, the implosion of the mass-produced over subscribed dreams of billions to be better than they are. These can all be traced right back to a sinister and dangerous force.

Cats.

I’m not talking about your Lions, Tigers…I’m talking about sweet little purring Tiddles or head nuzzling Spot. Domestic Cats are a force to be reckoned with. Why? Why, you ask? Because they have a plan. CATS HAVE A PLAN!

I'm not talking about these - these are pussy cats compared to...erm...pussy cats!

For years now, I have been working undercover to expose the truth. Forget Wikileaks – the information I’m going to release on these pages over the next few weeks, will bow your mind. But it needs to be blown. We need to be prepared.

My time is limited - they can trace internet connection which is why I'm constantly on the move. I will post from where I can, when I can. In the meantime, carry on as normal.

Always watching

They’ve been watching us for thousands of years but now I’m watching them.